- Rough Draft
- Work in Progress
- PG-13
Relationship(s):
Warning(s):
- Character Bashing
- No Beta
- Permanent Injury
- Violence - Canon-Level
- Alternate Universe
- Drama
- Romance
- Slash
Author's Note:
Summary:
Chapter Two: Saying Goodbye
The next morning, Tony stood in the doorway to his kitchen watching his son eat breakfast under the watchful eye of his live-in nanny Isla Collins. Isla came from a long line of nannies and servants who had served the Paddington family for generations. About five years prior, Tony had a weekend fling with a gorgeous blonde from the State Department. After a long wild two and a half days spent mostly in bed, they exchanged contact numbers for work purposes and went their separate ways never expecting to see each other again.
Then three months later, Amber called him advising that she was pregnant and thought it was his. She had no interest in having a child, but wanted to give him a voice in the situation. She advised him that if he wanted the child then sheād carry it, and after birth sign away her rights. Tony took a long weekend, and after conversations with John McGarrett, his father figure who lived in Hawaii, and his Uncle George and Cousin Edward, he decided to take the child, should paternity tests show it was his.
The test came out as Amber expected and a little over 6 months later Tony found himself a single father to a beautiful blond haired blue eyed baby boy that he named Tristian Jordan DiNozzo. Shortly after that, Amber got a new assignment that took her outside of the country. Unfortunately six months into her assignment there was a terrorist attack and she was killed.
When the Paddington family found out that Tony was indeed going to be a single father, they insisted that he use one of the family nannies. This led to Isla entering his and TJās lives. At 34, Isla was gorgeous, bright, and everything that Tony would normally look for in a woman. His Uncle and Cousins Edward and Ashcroft made sure that the young lady was not your normal nanny. Having strong ties to SIS, with Uncle George being a former head of MI5 and Edward and Ashcroft both current employees of the MI6 division, the three men decided she would receive enough training to ensure her charge would survive any situation. Isla was just ending her service with the British Army and was unsure where she was going to go from there, when George approached her about the position. After accepting the spot, she was put through training with several Edwardās cohorts at MI6 to ensure that his American Cousinās child would always be as safe as possible.
Thus, when the young woman stepped foot on American soil, she was probably the most highly trained nanny of a child outside of a political leaderās family, maybe ever. Had she been anyone other than her sonās nanny, Tony could easily picture himself falling for her. However, she was too important to his son, whom he loved more than any other soul on the planet, and thus he didnāt find himself even slightly attracted to her.
He knew that most of the people at NCIS wouldnāt believe that someone with Tonyās reputation hadnāt already had a fling with his very attractive nanny, but he hadnāt and didnāt want to. It was like imagining himself having a fling with Aunt Olivia, whom was one of his favorite women ever. At 72 she still had a wit and an air about her that you just knew a true lady was in your presence anytime she was near you. The thought of having sex with her though was incredibly nauseating. The same as it was Isla. She was his sonās caregiver. There was nothing even remotely sexual about it.
The two had formed a friendship of sorts, although Tony struggled with it. He felt in his heart that there should be a line where his friendly affection for Isla couldnāt go beyond, but was damned if he knew where it was. Since there werenāt any other single fatherās in his family, he didnāt really have anyone to talk to about the situation, and with the Paddingtonās all the way across the ocean, he didnāt generally confide such personal annoyances and uncertainties to them. Every once and a while Edward or his Aunt Olivia would call him and find out what was going on in his life and remind him that they gave a shit and even considerably more than that. Mostly though there was a weird gap between them caused by Tonyās childhood that, while he knew they cared for him, he just couldnāt or didnāt know how to get over.
āPapa, come eat wif me!ā
Pulling himself out of his musings, Tony smiled at his son, and headed into the kitchen to give him a kiss on the top of his head before making himself some breakfast. Once he reached the table with his coffee, Ā bowl of granola, bacon left from what Isla had made TJ, and a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese and more cinnamon on top, he took a big bite as he looked at his sonās nanny. Once his mouth was empty he smirked at her before speaking.
āHow would you like to be a hula nanny? Weāll get you a grass skirt andā¦ ok maybe thatās not the best example.ā Tony said frowning at how much he didnāt want to see her in a coconut bra.
Isla for her part just snorted at him as she finished her own breakfast and gently prodded TJ along. āYou wanna try that again, Boss?ā
Tony snorted happily at the title and smiled around the bagel he was biting into. As he chewed he made a face at TJ, making the little boy laugh with his spoonful of captain crunch dangling in the air. His bowl of fruit was already empty, and his peanut butter and strawberry jelly toast was waiting on him to get done with his small bowl of cereal. It always cracked Tony up watching his little boy eat. He was very methodical at it eating all of one thing before moving onto the next.
The āBossā thing also amused him and perfectly reflected the womanās wit. Sheād picked it up quickly after hearing him talk about Gibbs, and liked to use it when she was being smart with him. Tony took it in stride and was just glad that she never called him Mr. DiNozzo like all of his Uncleās servants did. It was actually one of the first things Tony had covered with Isla. He didnāt much care what she called him as long as there were no Misters or formal titles involved.
So, usually it was Tony with occasionally an AJ if she was tired and had come in from a late night with the friends she had made in DC. Sometimes Special Agent DiNozzo if they were out in public. Never Mr. DiNozzo or God forbid Junior. Fortunately, Senior didnāt even know TJ existed, and if Tony had his way he never would. Just to be safe though that was added to the list of do not everās and sheād not once let the word cross her lips.
āHow did the talk with Director Vance go last night?ā She prompted and Tony shook his head to come back to the present again. He thought maybe the lack of sleep from a combination of the excitement and a lack of sleep combined with not enough coffee yet was messing with his head.
āI have been offered the lead position at the Pearl Harbor office starting in January,ā Tony replied grinning as his genuine happiness came through.
āANDā¦ whatās even better is that they need a Forensic Analyst in the same office. So, Vance said that heād offer the spot to Abs. So, I might get to take her with me!ā
āTony, thatās awesome!ā Isla gushed happily and TJ nodded big.
āIs good, Papa!ā The little boy offered before his nose scrunched up frowning. āWhere dis Perl place?ā
Tony smiled turning his attention fully to his son. āItās on a series of islands in the Pacific called Hawaii. Itās where Nonno John lives.ā
āOh!ā TJ exclaimed picking up his toast after pushing away his bowl. āI get meet Nonno John? Dat would be nis. Can do dat pes.ā
Tony chuckled affectionately before ruffling his sonās hair making him squawk with displeasure. āNo touch da hair Papa!ā
Isla snorted at them and Tony turned his gaze toward them. āIām down for a change of scenery. What are we doing between now and then?ā
Tony shrugged before getting up to get more coffee. After returning he rested his elbows on the table to study her while it cooled a little. āI thought weād go to England for a bit. Probably go somewhere else for a bit. You are welcome to visit your parents when weāre in England.ā
āThat sounds wonderful. I vote we do that. Iām glad things are going to work out. I know youāve been worried about something. I assume it was work.ā
Tony nodded as he shrugged one shoulder. āI think this will work for the better. I am sure that weāll have guests sometime this evening. So, you may wanna take squirt here somewhere. Iāll call you when they leave.ā
Isla nodded and started discussing options with TJ, who was always up for an adventure. Tony just sat back and listened as he plotted out in his head all the things he needed to get done.
Around mid-day, Tony found himself alone in the apartment. Isla had met up with one of her fellow nannies at the park after breakfast and TJ got invited to a sleepover with her friend’s charge solving Tony’s worry about who might show up that day. He hoped Abby and Jimmy would come by. He’d accept Ducky if he insisted. He’d handle McGee if he pushed it. He wasn’t in the mood for Gibbs just yet but was pretty sure he’d be able to do that on his own time. Ziva just better stay the hell away. If she came anywhere near his house, which she didn’t have the address for from him, he’d happily have her arrested for trespassing.
This left him home alone with nothing but his thoughts to entertain him. Oh sure, he had like a million different movies he could watch and a good sized collection of books to read, but none of that interested him. Instead, he found himself sitting in a chair in his backyard under a beautiful tree that looked like it had been there since the beginning of time. He had Pandora playing on his phone tuned to the Frank Sinatra station with his earbuds in to tune out the everyday sounds of his neighbors as they went about their business.
This whole thing with Ziva had really thrown him. A voice in his head that sounded way too much like Senior was telling him what a fucking pussy he was. “Who cares about a few secrets. A pretty thing like that belongs in your bed. Of course, if you were a real man you’d be banging that girl who watches the kid. You’re nothing but a waste, Junior. I always told you that you’d amount to nothing, and I was right.”
Shaking his head with a growl, Tony forced his mind to forget Ziva. He didn’t have one ounce of guilt for making sure Vance was going to keep an eagle eye on the bitch. He had no doubt at all that she was still sending information to Israel. He wouldn’t put the whole Somalia fiasco to be some elaborate plot of Eli David’s to get her back into NCIS. If someone didn’t do something then someone was going to end up dead because of her. Either directly by her hand, or indirectly because of something she did and wasn’t supposed to or didn’t do and should have.
Was he being too harsh on McGee? Should he give him the benefit of the doubt? Tony knew that there was no way Tim had the stones to stand up to Ziva but was that really a valid excuse? No, not in Tony’s book. And, maybe more importantly, not in Abby’s book either unless she had changed her tune since the last time they talked about it. Certainly, she was more emotionally involved with Tim than he was despite the fact that their brief love affair was long since over. Maybe he’d been harsh in writing him off, but he just didn’t trust him. The Junior Agent hadn’t shown anything that proved he would have Tony’s back in the face of adversity. That just wasn’t a character trait that Tony was willing to have on his team.
Ducky was what Ducky was. A part of him would miss the older man, but frankly speaking, he’d long since accepted where the ME’s loyalties laid. And, it wasn’t with Tony or anyone who wasn’t Gibbs. So while he had feelings of affection for the man, he wasn’t going to beat himself up for not going out of his way to… well, to do anything.
Gibbs.
Gibbs was the reason why Tony was sitting alone in his backyard. Gibbs’ support of Ziva was what had broken him. He was so tired. He was tired of being let down every fucking time that he thought he’d finally found the right place. He was tired of feeling like he was alone on an island filled with people who couldn’t see or hear him. He knew he had the Paddington’s behind him. He knew he had John. He knew he had his son and Abby and Jimmy.
But he still felt like he was alone.
He longed for someone he could tell all of his secrets to without fear of being taunted or ignore. He wanted someone who was there only because they wanted to be there and chose him over every other option they had. He wanted to be able to trust someone and not feel like it was only a matter of time before they turned on him or broke that trust. He wanted someone who would help him find all the broken and scattered pieces of himself and gently glue them back together. He wanted someone who was his before they were anyone else’s, but he honestly didn’t believe that would ever happen. Mostly, because he just didn’t have even a tiny shard of faith left.
Resting his head on the back of his chair, he wiped away the tears on his cheeks frustrated. He hated this new him. Maybe the voice of senior in his head was right. Maybe he was weak. Maybe he was washed up. Maybe… just maybe he was irreversibly broken.
It was nearing dinner time that night when someone began pounding on Tonyās door. He was almost glad for it because the silence of his phone and the lack of said pounding on the door was beginning to make him nervous. The last thing he needed was someone plotting something worse than angry words and threats of payback for leaving the team and squealing to Vance.
Warily, he got up off the couch and moved toward the door where he checked through the peephole. Smiling as he saw who it was, he opened it and braced himself for the body that launched itself at him. āTonyTonyTonyTonyTony! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God!ā
Laughing, Tony wrapped his arms around Abby to make sure he didnāt drop her as he stepped back to let in Jimmy, who was standing on the front porch looking amused. Although, with the octopus like grip that the exuberant Goth had on him, he didnāt imagine that there was any chance she was going to fall. āOh My God, Tony, Oh My God! Weāre going to Hawaii!!ā
āYou accepted?ā Tony asked suddenly happier than he was before.
āYes!ā She confirmed nodding happily still attached to him like another appendage. āItāll be weird being even further away from Lucas and Iām gonna need to invest in some higher strength sunscreen, but Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Oh My God! Weāre going to Hawaii!ā
Jimmy finally stepped in the door laughing at the scene in front of him and lifted the carryout bag from Tonyās favorite steak place. āWe thought that weād celebrate.ā
Tony smiled at his friend and nodded his head toward the kitchen. āYou know where everything is, Gremlin. Iām gonna try and un-attach Abby, and weāll be right in.ā
āOh My God, Tony, Oh My God!ā She said laughing excited as she finally let go and slid down to stand on her own two feet. āI canāt believe it! Iām so excited! Where’s my favorite nephew?ā
āI couldnāt tell,ā Tony teased smiling as she smacked his arm lightly having long ago stopped punching, after Tony and she had a talk about abuse, and how not funny it was to hit people. “TJ and Isla are having a sleepover with one of his little friends from the park. Isla and Robert, the little boy, are friends also, so they’re at the other nanny suite in the kid’s house.”
āIām glad you said yes,ā he admitted softly. āMoving away from you and Jimbo in there were my two big drawbacks.ā
āBut youāll be closer to John! Oh, My God, I get to meet John!ā She squealed happily as Tony laughed again leading her to the kitchen where Jimmy was plating up their food on the island.
āThe Bone-In-Ribeye is yours, Tony,ā Jimmy said before picking what Tony guessed was his own plate given that the other plate had two huge portabella mushrooms on it and a big baked potato. There was no way Abby was eating meat, and there was also no way Tony wasnāt. Picking up his plate, he moved to the table, noting that the three seats already had bowls of salad and bottles of beer.
āSo, what happened at work today?ā Tony asked taking a sip of his beer before digging into his plate. āTo be honest, I expected someone to come pounding on my door long before you two.ā
āVance wonāt let them,ā Abby offered as she cut a piece off of her mushroom. āHe said anyone that comes to bug you or gives you a hard time in any way gets immediately fired. He said if you wanna talk to people that youāll come see them. Jimmy and I were the only ones given exemptions. Even Duckyās not allowed to come bother you!ā
āHow did he know,ā Tony started and shook his head. āI never mentioned Ducky.ā
āI told him,ā Jimmy declared shrugging his shoulders. āI told him that sometimes Ducky took things too far acting like you just donāt care about yourself, or getting on you about what youāre eating when Gibbs wonāt let you leave the building to get food sometimes all day. There are no fresh food machines in the break room. So, what did he expect you to eat? I told him how Iāve even seen Ducky throw your food out when you havenāt eaten all day like it was any of his business! Heās not your primary physician and certainly, has no right to deprive you of food when youāve starved yourself all day because Gibbs was on a tear. Then we talked about a few other things and wellā¦ā
āI think Ducky feels bad,ā Abby admitted softly. āHe told me that he hadnāt realized that heād let his friendship with Gibbs blind him to what was going on with others, and how badly sometimes the Bossman treats the team. He told Vance today when the Director called him into his office that heās taking a sabbatical. Iā¦ I think itās for the best.ā
Jimmy quickly nodded his agreement. āI think so, too. As much as I like and respect Dr. Mallard, I think he needs to reorient himself. He told me that heās not sure he ever fully got over Gerald getting shot. Speaking of, Ziva is getting moved off of the MCRT! Vance is requiring a new security assessment before they determine what to do with her. Apparently, while the State Department wanted her back with a Federal Intelligence Agency, they agreed that maybe it didnāt have to be NCIS. With all the problems that sheās causing, Vance doesnāt want her with us anymore. He says Homeland or the CIA would be better suited for what she can offer and could keep an eye on her.ā
āWhat about McGee?ā Tony asked curiously.
āHeās being shipped down to Dwayne Pride for some humbling,ā Abby muttered frowning, āand man is he whining about it, too.ā
āHowād he take your new position?ā Tony asked curiously and Abby scowled. āHe bitched at me for leaving and for following you no less. Heās acting like I should be more loyal to him than you. I told him that he and I werenāt fucking anymore, and with the way heās been treating you that Iām not sure that he and I are even friends anymore. Iām not friends with bullies. Of course, he completely lost his mind about that. He insists that heās a victim and hasnāt done anything wrong. I canāt wait for Dwayne and Christopher to get their hands on him. Dwayne isnāt gonna put up with any of his BS.ā
Tony snorted and popped a chunk of his steak into his mouth thinking as he chewed. While Dwayne and Gibbs were friends and on the surface had similar personalities that was really all it was. Pride would never allow the crap that Gibbs fostered by pitting teammates against each other. Christopher was very clearly his second in command and made sure that anyone who came onto their team on a temporary basis knew it. He also wasnāt going to let inflated egos to run amuck in his office. Sebastian was amazing, and while quirky like Abby would never allow Tim to run rough shot over him, and if for some reason he did Dr. Wade certainly wasnāt going to allow it. New Orleans would certainly be a wakeup call for McGeek.
āAnd Gibbs?ā Tony asked after eating in silence for a few moments. He saw Abby and Jimmy look at each other before both of them shrugged at the question.
āHe and the Director had a huge blowout,ā Abby confessed. āI guess that Vance arranged for him to be assessed initially by Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner over at the BAU, and then heās going to have to attend mandated counseling with one of the Homeland shrinks. After that, depending on what the Unit Chief says, theyāll figure out where Gibbs will be assigned. I didnāt understand how Hotchner got involved, but my friend Penelope, who is his Technical Analyst, says that he does assessments for the CIA, too. So, I guess Vance figures that thereās no way Gibbs will get anything past this guy.ā
āHuh,ā Tony offered trying to decide how he felt about what heād been told. āI didnāt really expect all of that.ā
āWhat did you expect?ā Jimmy asked curiously and Tony took his time in answering.
āNot much,ā he finally admitted. āI mean, Vance said that he understood where I was coming from and that he was on my side, but to be honest, I didnāt really believe him. I certainly didnāt think that heād act on anything I told him, or if he did that it would be anything this extreme. I justā¦ā
Trailing off, Tony ran a hand over his leg before continuing quieter. āI just knew I couldnāt continue as I had been. I knew that I could never trust Ziva again and that I felt too betrayed by Gibbs to work under him anymore. If Iād known that sheād sold us out, if Iād known that she tried to get me kicked off the team, well the whole avenging her thing would have gone differently. Thatās for sure.ā
The other two were quiet as they watched their friend. The happiness and excitement from earlier seemed to be slipping away. āYou never did tell us what happened. How did you find out?ā
Tony chuckled darkly as he stabbed a piece of his meat and shoved it in his mouth chewing violently to give himself a few moments before answering. āShe tried to kill me in the hospital, and Gibbs and McGee just acted like it was no big deal.ā
āHoly shit, Tony!ā Jimmy burst out while Abby just stared at him with big eyes.
āGibbs acted like him picking me the first time should excuse her trying to kill me and I should just blow it off like itās no big deal. McGee thought I should just let it go. āCause you know, I was the only one making a big deal over what she had tried to do and that she blatantly said that she wished me dead and sheād never have told that Michael killed me. Apparently, SOP is for me to just take the abuse and let it roll off my back. I mean, to hell with McGee. His betrayal I can handle, but Gibbsā¦ā
Tony trailed off and looked down at his hands. āIām tired of not being good enough for the people I look up to. I donāt get it. I wanna see John so bad, but Iām scared shitless that I wonāt be good enough for him, too.ā
āOh, Tony,ā Abby said softly wanting to get up and hug him, but knew he wouldnāt welcome it at that moment.
āThe position in Hawaii doesnāt start ’til the beginning of the year. Director Vance suggested I take the time to get away, and I think Iām gonna do it. Spend some time out of the country. Maybe island hopping. Maybe seeing the family in England. You be ok on your own for a bit without me Abby girl?ā
āOf course!ā Abby assured her pig tails bouncing from the force of her nods. āIāll have plenty to do to learn my new lab! Iām sad Iām gonna have to leave my babies, but itās exciting getting all new ones! Are you going to talk to anyone else before you leave?ā
Tony shrugged picking at his potato before shoving some into his mouth. After swallowing he answered. āGibbs for sure. Ziva and McGee definitely no. Ducky is the only one I donāt know about. Iām leaning toward a letter for him and Iāll contact him later. Maybe. Itās not that Iām mad at him and less mad at Gibbs I justā¦ I donāt trust Ducky not to try and change my mind, or try and convince me that Gibbs hasnāt done anything wrong. Sometimes it seems like he feels like heās the only one who can be mad at Gibbs, and I really donāt need a lecture of any kind at the moment. Iām justā¦ Iām over it all.ā
Jimmy cuts some of his steak off as he replies. āI understand where youāre coming from. I think heāll be upset at not getting to talk to you before you leave, but at the same time, you need to do what is best for you. Dr. Mallard does tend to get caught up in his own opinion and forget that just because weāre not as worldly as him that our points of view are just as valid. I know that I have a different relationship with him than the rest of you do, and Iāve seen him scold people for things he shouldnāt have in the past. You need to look out for your own well-being right now, and I think that ultimately Dr. Mallard will understand that. If not, fuck him.ā
Tony makes a face as he almost chokes on the steak heād been swallowing. āIād rather not Jimbo, but if thatās your thingā¦ā
Abby shrieks laughing as Jimmyās face turns red. The Assistant ME picks up a roll and throws it at Tony who just laughs. The conversation turns to lighter topics from there as the three friends share one of the last nights theyāll all be in DC together.
Two days later, Tony lets himself into Gibbs house and makes his way down into the basement. He knew that there was a chance that this could get ugly, but there was no way he could leave without at least trying. The man simply meant to much to him, and as upset as he was with him, he couldnāt just throw all those years between them away. When he reached the basement steps though, he couldnāt help but hover at the top trying to make himself descend into the lionās den.
āDonāt have to stay all the way up there, DiNozzo,ā Gibbs said quietly sanding a piece of wood at his workbench. Tony watched the older man toss it down and turn to look at him. His expression guarded, and his voice lacked the fiery anger that heād expected. āIām not going to take your head off.ā
Nodding carefully, Tony headed down the stairs and crossed to the stool that Gibbs had pulled out and wiped off with a nearby cloth. āThanks, Boss. I wasā¦ I thought youād be a lot more pissed off than youāre acting.ā
āWas at first,ā Gibbs admitted quietly and Tony thought maybe there was some regret in his eyes. āBut, Vance gave me a few things to think about. Pride gave me a few more things to think of. Then, I had my initial assessment with Hotchner over at the BAU this morning, and he pretty much chewed my ass from one end of Quantico to the other. As much as I wanted to tell him that he doesnāt know what the hell heās talking about, I canāt really do that all things considered. Heās got one hell of a reputation, and even I know that Iād be a fool to ignore that. Ultimately though, it was realizing that Iād lost you that made me realize how badly Iād fucked everything up. So, Iām trying to pull my head out of my ass. I know itās a little too late to save our friendship, butā¦ā Gibbs trailed off and looked away with an uncertain expression on his face.
āThatās,ā Tony started, but stopped to push past his shock before trying again. āIām glad, Gibbs. Iāll be honest. I wish that youād pulled your head out sooner, but itās never too late, Boss.ā
āNot your boss anymore, DiNozzo,ā Gibbs said quietly, and Tony immediately shook his head.
āYouāll always be my boss,ā Tony corrected firmly. āThatāsā¦ thatās why I did this now. So that I could leave before our friendship was ruined beyond repair. I wonāt lie. Iām really hurt right now and there arenāt words for how betrayed I feel, but I donāt wantā¦ā
Tony stopped when the emotion became too much and hated that Gibbs could see how upset he was. It was something that he wasnāt sure heād ever get used to. This whole ‘people being able to see everything he felt’ now was seriously inconvenient, and silently he cursed that terrorist bastard. A part of him was pissed off that he hadnāt been able to kill the prick himself.
āI need you in my life, Gibbs,ā Tony finally said. His voice thicker with emotion than heād like, but he and the Boss would both have to get used to it if there was a friendship beyond this left for them.
āI canāt have nothing left from this path weāve been traveling. I canāt lose someone else that is as important to me as you are. I need this to get fixed, Boss. I justā¦ Youāre not even mad about Abby?ā
Gibbs immediately shook his head and reached for a bottle of water sitting on his desk. Tony lifted an eyebrow but didnāt ask. āNo. In fact, Iām glad that youāre taking her with you. The team isā¦ well itās done, and to be honest, if I decide to go back I wonāt be running an investigative team anymore. Vance wants me to move into something overseeing special projects either out of MTAC or where ever they need me on the ground. Something like a problem solver for more serious issues and cases. Iāmā¦ Iām not exactly opposed to it, and I donāt really want to start from scratch as close to retirement as I am. Once McGee gets done with Pride heād come back and work with me. Thereās an undercover guy Vance is gonna move to work with us that he wants to pull out of the field named Torres. So, weāll see how it goes. I owe you a big apology, Tony.
āIt never should have come to this. I keep seeing her killing you in that hospital bed, and I canāt believe that I let things go so far. You shouldnāt have been kept in the dark. Hell, you shouldnāt have been kept in the dark about a lot of things. You certainly shouldnāt have been treated like you were no different than any other agent. At the beginning with Kate, it made sense, but the second Ziva joined the team things should have changed. Hell, maybe we shouldnāt have even done it with Kate. At this point, I donāt know if I know my ass from a hole in the ground.ā
Tony held in a sigh as he chewed on the inside of his cheek while trying to decide how he wanted to reply. āI donāt know what to say, Boss, other than thank you for the apology. I think at this point the what we should have done’s and maybe if we had only’s donāt really matter. The fact is that we both did things we shouldnāt and didnāt do things we needed to. Maybeā¦ I hate to say it, but maybe this was how it was meant to be. You know Iām not a religious man, but I do believe in fate and karma. I have to believe that thereās a reason that this is happening like that. Like, thereās something Iām meant to do in Hawaii that had we done things the right way I wouldnāt have been able to do. And, it isnāt like you canāt ever come see me. Wherever I end up laying my head will always have a spare room for you, Boss, and if I have my way itāll be on the water. So, plenty of room for a boat.ā
Gibbs smiled and shook his head at him. āYouāre one of a kind DiNozzo. Iām proud of you. I hope you know that. Youāre gonna do an amazing job in Hawaii, and I may just take you up on that. Especially now that I will have two reasons to visit there.ā
Tony lifted an eyebrow as Gibbs picked up a folder and after blowing sawdust off of it, handed it to him. āVance thought it would be best if I gave you a heads up about one of your new agents.ā
Tony took the folder and immediately opened it as he listened to his friend and mentor speak. āNameās Tara Gideon. Sheās the adopted daughter of Jason Gideon, who was one of the founders of the BAU. Sheās also my Goddaughter and is the Pearl Harbor teamās version of McGee. Although in my biased opinion she blows him out of the water. Sheās sharp as a tack and doesnāt take shit from anyone, including me. Sheās been verbally kicking my ass about how Iāve been running the team for years. So, she knows more about your current situation than I am sure youād like. I can assure you, though, that she wonāt just automatically take my side. She knows how big of a bastard I am, and fortunately loves me anyway. I know I donāt have to ask, but Iād appreciate it if youād take care of her, Tony.
āSheās had a hard road thanks to that prick Gideon. Iāve hated her being so far away from me doing what she does. Iām gonna feel a lot better knowing that youāll be there now to watch her six like youāve always watched mine. Justā¦ I know you wouldnāt, but I canātā¦ Donāt hold my bullshit against her, please?ā
Tony nodded suddenly overwhelmed with emotion and huffed angrily as he had to wipe off his cheeks. āYou have my word, Gibbs.ā He promised as he nodded.
āIāll treat her as if sheās my own flesh and blood, and Iāll introduce her to John McGarrett, too. Thatāll give her someone else to watch her six.ā
Gibbs cocked his head to one side at the name. āDonāt remember you mentioning him before.ā
Tony took a deep breath to settle his nerves before replying. āRemember how I told you how Senior left me in a hotel in Honolulu when I was 12? Well, John McGarrett was the officer who responded. CPS didnāt have any immediate place to put me with a family until Senior got there, so John convinced them to let him keep me since he had a son and a young daughter of his own. I wasnāt there long, but he left a huge impression on me. I always wanted to be a cop, and when Brad broke my leg, I took it as Fateās sign that it was what I was meant to do. Weāve called and written letters regularly since I left his home. Heās more a father to me than Senior ever will be, and on the plus side, my father hates him. So, I wonāt have to worry about him ever making a surprise visit. Johnād chase him off the island with a spear gun.ā
Gibbs snorted amused as he took another drink of his water. āYou worried thatāll happen? Senior visitinā, I mean.ā
Tony ran a hand over the back of his neck as he made a face. āI figure it was bound to happen one of these days. Probably when I had the least amount of time to deal with his bullshit. Seriously though, it wonāt happen as long as Iām in Hawaii. John would probably literally kill him, and since he knows like half the island, no one would ever find my fatherās body. Iāmā¦. thank you, Gibbs. For letting this part of our path end like this, and for everything youāve done for me. I wasā¦ā
Tony shook his head and scowled at himself. āI was a lot bigger of an arrogant prick before I met you. Iād probably still be one if I hadnāt tackled you in that alley.ā
āNah,ā Gibbs disagreed smiling softly. āYouāve never been arrogant, you just had a really good asshole character. I think eventually you would have gotten tired of it and moved on so you could change it. Youāre a good man, Tony. One of the best Iāve ever met. The DC office will not be better off without you. I will miss the hell out of you, but I am damned proud of you for standing up for yourself. You need me, you know where I am. I’ll drop everything and come if you call. Donāt let anyone change who you are, and donāt let Wendy and Jeanne make you afraid to love again. The last thing that I want is for you to end up like me. Youāre a man meant to love and be loved, DiNozzo. So, when the right person comes along, take that step. Then you damned well better bring him or her to meet me.ā
Tony grinned shyly before standing and holding out his hand. āItās been an honor, Special Agent Gibbs, to be your Senior Field Agent. Thank you for taking a risk on a cocky Detective from Baltimore with a shit ton of baggage.ā
Gibbs stood and ignored his hand, instead choosing to pull him in for a hug, which Tony immediately reciprocated. āHonorās all mine, DiNozzo. Give āem hell!ā
Nodding Tony patted his mentorās back before pulling away and leaving brushing away the tears as he left. It hadnāt gone the way heād expected, and he couldnāt thank the Fates enough for it.
Wow you rock
Yay for Tony! Love that Abby gets to go with him!
Magnificent.
This made me so happy. I love where your Tony is right now and I can’t wait to see where you take him. Love TJ n Isla and the connection to the Paddingtons. Sending Gibbs to Hotch was Inspired!! Thanks so much for sharing this installment. Much love to your muse.
Wow! What a thrilling and exciting story. I just read the two chapters in one go and I’m really enjoying it. I love it that you made your Vance be more serious in how to respond to all the things Tony mentioned. I also love that Jim and Abby are still close to Tony and that Abby will join Tony on his new journey. What I love most is that you even combined some Criminal Minds in this by making Gibbs go to Hotch. Brilliant!! I also love that Gibbs is seeing that he’s doing Tony wrong and admits it to Tony. Very powerful. I enjoy your Isla and your TJ, can’t wait to see more of the little guy and the nanny. Thanks for sharing this wonderful story!
Glad they at least parted okay.
Wonderful build up. Just enough angst without topping out and a gentle resolution with Gibbs. So looking forward to Tony’s adventure. Thanks for writing and sharing it with us.
Oh gosh, Hotch is the PERFECT person to send Gibbs to- it’s a brilliant choice on your part and one that never occurred to me. I love this story so much, thank you for sharing it.
Yayyyy! I’m glad he’s leaving on a positive note regarding their friendship but am on the edge of my seat hoping he doesn’t miss a chance to reconnect with John….
this is so awesome i love it
Good update
Glad that Tony got some friendly closure with Gibbs that leaves the door open to talk. And that Gibbs is getting his much needed kicks in the butt. Continued good luck and energy with your writing
So glad that Tony is getting some much needed closure with Gibbs. At least he finally got his act together and saw how his treatment of Tony was beyond wrong. I canāt wait to see where you take this story next
This is a great chapter. Lovely to see the relationship between Abby, Jimmy and Tony. Glad Gibbs is starting to get his head put of his ass.
Superb chapter – I love the building of Isla’s background and the showing of the lines between them. Wonderful goodbye between Tony and Gibbs – I love that Hotch was the one to knock his head back onto his shoulders. Thank you for sharing your work!
Great chapter. Thank you for sharing
Awsome, just love your Tony. Thanks for sharing this.
Liking this story. Thank you for sharing
This is great! Glad Gibbs got his head out of his ass. Loved Abby’s reaction to their Hawaii jobs!
I am really loving this story. Wonderful chapter.
Thank you.
I love this so much, it is superb !!! thank you.
Fantastic piece of fiction! Loving every word of it. Thank you for sharing this with us.