Public Information Films

  • Complete
Content Rating:
  • PG-13
Harry Potter


  • Death - Child
  • Discussion - Murder
  • Action Adventure
Word Count:

Author's Note:
A response to the Thursday Vignette, February 21st 2019

Public information films scared a generation and Harry and Hermione haven't forgotten that information, or how helpful it can be.

‘Harry we have to get rid of the Weasleys.’

Harry hadn’t expected that when Hermione had dragged him into a broom closet. Admittedly he hadn’t been sure what to expect when she’d dragged him in either. Last time he was in this position he’d ended up running an illegal defence organisation. Sirius hadn’t been wrong when he said witches and broom closets were a dangerous combination.

‘Get rid of or get rid of?’ he asked wanting clarity.

‘Harry really. I mean we can’t kill them. Not really’

‘They will come back if we don’t. They’re malignant Mione and if we cast them off they will resent us and we won’t be close enough to predict an attack from them.’

‘The twins could warn us.’

‘Maybe. But they don’t want to live in the Burrow any longer than possible they’ll be out sooner rather than later.’

‘But if we kill them it makes us as bad as them.’

‘Mione, no. It doesn’t, it won’t. They’re trying to trap us, enslave us even. Killing them’s nothing compared to that’.

‘So we kill them. Harry, I don’t know if I can.’

‘It’s okay. I’ll do it.’

‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

‘You’re not. I’m doing it for the both of us, plus it wouldn’t be the first person I’ve killed.’

‘Quirrel doesn’t count Harry it was an accident. And you better not be blaming yourself for Cedric’s death that’s on Pettigrew. Also the Crouches, Fudge and Dumbledore for not acting as they should have. We can blame Snape too, that always makes you feel better.’

‘I’ll admit you’re probably right about Cedric, but I put my hands to Quirrels face Mione once I realised it hurt him. It was more deliberate than not.’

‘That’s not on you. It’s all because people decided an innocent little boy should be a game piece in some convoluted plan we’re all stuck in. Quirrel deserved it too. No, don’t look at me like that he agreed to host the spirit of that monster. He was a walking corpse from that point. It’s just unfortunate that it was you who had to kill him, the goblins were desperate to get their hands on him.’

‘So you don’t think I’m a monster or wrong for wanting them dead?’

‘No you’re. We. Are just defending ourselves from a threat. Everybody else is in the wrong. They had the power to do something and didn’t act so here we are tiding up their messes. Anyway, I’m the one who suggested it.’

‘You weren’t in favour of killing earlier.’

‘Oh, but I was. I just couldn’t blurt out that I wanted to kill your oldest friend and his little sister.’

‘So you let me say it.’

‘Yes. I had to be sure.’

‘So we’re agreed, that I kill the Weasleys.’

‘No. I can do this. I’m not going to be one of those partners who doesn’t pull their weight. We kill the Weasleys.’

‘This isn’t a school project.’

‘I know that. It more important than one and I never thought I would say that.’

‘War changes everything doesn’t it?’

‘It does. But I think its more that Umbridge has completely ruined education for me.’

‘Are you sure you’re okay with this you changed your mind quite quickly there.’

‘Harry. Stop asking me if I’m okay with what we’re doing.’

‘What. Sirius said you should always get a girls consent when in a broom closet.’

‘I don’t think he meant it like this.’

‘He is a Black, look at their family history’. Hermione let out an inelegant snort and threw her arms around him.

‘Thank you, Harry, for being everything I need.’

‘Its okay Mione I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you.’

‘Now enough bonding we have murders to commit.’ she let go of him. ‘We need a plan. I think we should make it as untraceable as possible, I don’t think they will look at us, we’re close to them and with the war heating up we can make the deaths look like death eater activity.’

‘Possibly, but if we’re in the castle they’re still going question us as their friends. Did we see anything suspicious etc? It may come back to bite us. Plus magical signature is an exposure risk.’

‘What are you suggesting?’


‘You say we wait that long, but the potions.’

‘We’re aware of the threat and we can’t counter it. We can start brewing cleansing drafts it won’t be nice but we can get away with it.’

‘You don’t think they’ll notice?’

‘Not if we time it right, you have yours at that time of the month’ he blushed as he said this. ‘Any mood swings will be written off by Ginny. I’ll have mine at a later date so we don’t present any pattern in our moodiness. I’m irritable enough at times that they won’t notice any change. We can distance ourselves because of exams you have a history of getting manic at this time of year just ramp it up because its OWLs. ’

‘Okay, I can do that, What about you?’

‘I’ll just act like I’m going along with whatever you say for an easier life. Nobody will expect me actually to be working.’

‘Ron won’t go along with it though. He will go off in a huff and play chess that’s good. It keeps us safe.’

‘I know that you’re being pressured into going straight to the safe house but Mione we need time to act in the summer so say you want to spend time with family before the war gets too bad.’

‘You mean to kill them during those first few weeks when we have no contact with them, that’s brilliant.’

‘I know that Sirius is pushing me to stay with him but I think I’m going to have to go to the Dursleys it will keep the Weasleys from becoming suspicious and it keeps me isolated and alibied.’

‘More than that Sirius will sulk and probably stop the Weasleys from coming over until you’re collected despite the war.’

‘Putting everybody in place for us to act.’

‘So how do we do it?’

‘Do you remember in primary schools there were those films? To show us the dangers in the world.’

‘The public information films. They terrified me I never could speak to strangers and not wear my seatbelt after seeing those.’

‘Exactly. Did you see the farm one where the children were all killed in different ways?’

‘Yeah that one was gruesome, it had a list of names of all the children who died the year before in similar accidents. Oh, Harry, that’s kind of brilliant, horrid but brilliant.’

‘You see what I’m getting at. Mrs Weasley lets them out of the property and to the village to buy food. When they’re beyond the wards we strike and kill them in a muggle way. We’ve both stayed there enough to know the families routine.’

‘And if Mollys become paranoid?’

‘If necessary we can go to the edge of the wards and lure them out. They see us and come over, hey presto they’re caught.’

‘Nobody would expect it. A terrible tragedy. Oh, why did they wander off? Why didn’t they listen to their father when he talked about the muggles? And so on and so on.’

‘We’re not anywhere in the neighbourhood and not going to be implicated.’

‘We can even take muggle transport. They live in Devon and the holiday transport links will be in place. I could even convince my parents to go on holiday to Devon as a family, Mum’s been wanting to have a picnic on the beach for a while.’

‘I think we’re due a visit to Marge who lives down in Bournemouth she moved to the coast for her health last year.’

‘Will they take you?’

‘Possibly they’ll want me to do the chores while they holiday. Marge will probably house me in the kennels or something but I’m willing to go for this if it solves our problem.’

‘Horrible woman I’m sure we can drown her, you remember that film about playing by the water. We could arrange for her to be dragged into the water by those beastly dogs of hers.’


‘What you said that killing the Weasleys was okay because they’re trying to enslave you. That woman’s trying to do the same thing. So are several others now that I think about it.’

Let’s focus on the Weasleys first, other people later.’

‘You do realise what you just implied.’

‘You started it.’

‘I did. But it makes sense we can clear the playing board before the war kicks off and be able to get some say in our fate. And it’s not like we don’t have hit lists already. Wizards are arrogant they’re not going to see it coming. If the opportunity arises I’m going to take it. Just letting you know.’

‘Just think all these wizards killed in muggle accidents it may even make them pay more attention to something other than themselves.’

‘Harry now you’re being fanciful. We’re better of just wiping the slate clean where the magical world is concerned.’

- - - -

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About Izzy Hound

In an attempt to escape from my academic writing I took up a hobby ... writing. Like all crafters, no matter the medium, I soon found myself getting buried under the products of my creativity. So in the time honoured practice of all crafters, I started sharing my work. Whether you want it or not, you're getting it and just be thankful you don't know me in person or else you'd be getting another handmade scarf for Christmas.


  1. This is great!

  2. This is hilarious. I love their murder pact.

  3. Oh that’s twisted. And too funny. Death by PSA. I love it.
    Thank you

  4. Kenneth Wallace Warner

    excellent and so justified – thank you

  5. snicker I love the idea of basically making them a Cautionary Tale. The fact the kids of the Ministry “muggle expert” so completely fail to navigate that world is just a bonus.

  6. This is AWESOME!!!!!!!! Oh my, so very good! “We’re better off just wiping the slate clean. . .” Priceless! You utterly rock!

  7. That was awesome

  8. great fic!

  9. “I am the spirit of dark & lonely water……”

    Those films should still be shown. Total dereliction of duty by the BBC! 🙂

    Great story.

  10. Look out high body count coming soon!

  11. Sonia Costoya Rodriguez

    My ribs hurt I laugh so hard !!!

  12. Evil duo making their twisted murder plans. Loved it.

  13. Why does this make me feel so happy?

  14. Greywolf the Wanderer

    😀 😀 😀

  15. Fabulous and funny, thank you

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