Mr. & Mrs. Potter – Prologue

  • Rough Draft
Content Rating:
  • R
Harry Potter

Harry Potter/Hermione Granger

  • *No Site Warnings Apply
  • Alternate Universe
  • Challenge Response
  • Established Relationship
  • Romance
Word Count:

Author's Note:
This was written for the Harmony and Co.'s Film Fest but I couldn't finish on time. The "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" prompt was claimed by my author name UntoldHarmony on Ao3.

The secret to a happy marriage is to tell your spouse everything but the essentials.


Healer Brown silently assessed the couple sat in front of her. It’s clear to her that neither one of them wanted to be there despite the smiles on their faces. Their stiff postures were evidence of that and the strain on their upturned lips betrayed them. She let nothing show in her gaze when she noted their seating arrangements as well. They were sat on either end of the couch with not a body part touching. 

Lavender smiled warmly at the pair. “I’m Healer Lavender Brown and I’ve been a mind healer for more than a decade. My goal with these sessions is to help you better understand yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Now to get things started, why don’t you introduce yourself and tell us why you’re here?” 

The handsome man with his messy black hair and gorgeous green eyes grinned at her. He opened his mouth and spoke in a bright baritone voice that exuded warmth and an easygoing attitude. “Alright, I’ll start. My name is Harry Potter and I am a Quidditch consultant. Let me be frank and say that we don’t really need to be here.” 

Lavender remained quiet and kept her gaze even. As if prompted by her silence, Mr. Potter continued. 

“We’ve been married five years-”

“Six,” his wife suddenly piped. Lavender turned her attention to the beautiful woman with curly brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her legs were crossed and she smiled tightly when Lavender’s eyes fell on her. 

Mr. Potter looked sheepish and continued. “We’ve been married five or six years and this is like… a routine check-up for us, you know? A chance to poke around the broom, remove any loose bristles, polish up the wood handle… maybe even renew some of the fading charms…” He trailed off and blinked. 

Lavender waited for a beat. When silence filled the air, she supplied. “Very well, then. Let’s give this broom a full Broomstix service!” She said enthusiastically. She noticed the missus grimace at her analogy. “Why don’t you introduce yourself now, Mrs. Potter?” 

The woman with her long legs and slim frame leaned forward in her seat. “I’m Hermione Potter,” she began. Lavender noted her clipped tone. “I own and manage a bookstore. Like my husband said, I don’t think we need to be here but if you can help us in any way possible then that would be preferred.”

Lavender had to stop herself from grinning at Mrs. Potter’s respectful coldness. She kept her face neutral and examined the pair. “On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you as a couple?”

“Eight,” Mrs. Potter immediately responded. She clasped her hands on her lap and kept her gaze even on Lavender.

“Now wait a moment,” Mr. Potter said, his eyebrows raising. He looked at his wife for a second before asking. “Is one really miserable and ten perfectly happy?” Lavender saw Mrs. Potter shift in her seat and purse her lips.

Lavender smiled at the man. “Just answer instinctively,” she said.

Mr. Potter nodded slowly. “Okay then…” he said. He turned to look back to his wife who only raised her eyebrow in response. 

“Eight,” they said simultaneously.

“How often do you have sex?” 

There was a long pause and Lavender watched as the couple turned dumbstruck at her question. Mrs. Potter wasn’t so poised now with her face scrunched in confusion and lips parted as if ready to ask a question. Mr. Potter was looking at the healer with a frown. 

“I… don’t understand,” Mrs. Potter said. Her hands were wringing on her lap and she chewed her bottom lip. 

“Right… sorry, but I’m lost,” Mr. Potter added. His right hand ran through his hair making it all the more messy. “Do you expect another one to ten answer here?” 

“Is one very little sex or is it no sex?” Mrs. Potter asked as one of her eyebrows curved in a high arch. “Because technically speaking, zero should be no sex.” 

It took a lot of willpower for Lavender to keep her face neutral. It always amused her when couples had problems with this question though she wondered why with this particular pair since they were both so physically attractive. What a shame, she mused. If she looked like the missus and her partner looked like the mister then they’d be going at it like rabbits all day!

“How about from this past week?” She asked. 

The couple remained silent and she watched as they avoided each other’s gazes. Mr. Potter turned to look at the ceiling while Mrs. Potter smoothed her skirt and picked at invisible lint on her blouse.

“Does… that include the weekend?” Mr. Potter piped. 

“Sure,” Lavender said kindly.

“I’d rather not answer that question,” Mrs. Potter said with finality. Mr. Potter nodded in agreement. 

“Alright then,” Lavender said easily. “How did you two meet?” 

“It was in Italy,” Mrs. Potter said with a small smile while sounding relieved that she evaded the previous question. Lavender noted that that was the first genuine smile which came from the woman. She looked wistful. 

“In Rome,” Mr. Potter added with a nod of his head. A small smile was creeping into his lips as well. “Five years ago.” 

There was another pause and Lavender observed as the woman absolutely bristled. The smile on her face fell into a straight line and her fists clenched in her lap. 


“Right. Five or six years ago.” 


- - - -

No posts found

About Micca

Storyteller for the bookworm and the hero.


  1. this is so amusing, i could totally see them doing this!

  2. Interesting intro chapter. Definitely want to read more.

  3. Great start and they’re awesome in their cute awkwardness.

  4. Love it! Such a new angle. Are they both secret Unspeakable Hit Wizards?

Leave a Reply

--Do not ask for "more" or request information on when a story will be updated.
--Do not question an author's plot by pretending to be confused by what you've read. That sort of passive aggressive bullshit won't fly here.
--Do not guess or attempt anticipate an author's plot then complain about it.
--Do not make demands regarding future events or pairings.

In short, don't be an asshole.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.