Living by Moonrise

Sapphire blue eyes watched steadily, as cats were typically able to do, and blinked only once as the object of their focus turned a page in her book before going back to taking notes and reading. The silence in the room was peaceful, calm, and a quiet sort of intent filled the space. Luna wondered once again how she had missed so much. Had she truly been so lost in her own personal mission, her own fears of failure, that she had failed the one person she could not afford to fail so badly?

Blue met blue as her charge paused in her studies to meet the eyes of her guardian. “You are allowed to ask Luna.”

Luna turned away, suddenly ashamed. “I spent so much time berating you for bad habits, never once considering why they might even exist.”

“It’s not as though my family expected anything different from me.” Usagi offered. “I’ve routinely had bouts of rampant insomnia since I was a child, it has made my school life difficult. Mom has especially hated it when it has affected my testing scores. At least now I know the true reason why, even if it does not resolve the problem itself. The Moon is up, and so am I.”

Luna turned back to her quickly, “It’s always been so?”

Usagi nodded. “We had a behavior specialist once speculate that my erratic insomnia seemed related to the phases of the moon, as the worst of it always matched up with when a full moon fell on the calendar. Daddy was not impressed, and we never went back to that doctor. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?”

“This is why it’s only some days and nights? When the moon rises during daylight hours it doesn’t affect you so much?” Luna asked.

Usagi giggled, “Oh it affects me, if you paid attention to it, you might think I’d had too much sugar on those days. I’m kind of surprised Ami hasn’t picked up on the correlation yet. Though that might change when I start turning in all this independent study work after the nights of insomnia.”

Usagi frowned a moment as she seemed to consider that thought further, “You know, I might even feel Earth’s gravity less on those days. The moon pulling at me like the ocean tides.” Her gaze turned toward the window becoming introspective.

Luna shifted, “You’ve become more studious since learning you were Serenity, I— I don’t want you to change Usagi-chan. You deserve to be yourself.”

Usagi smiled softly and reached out to rub Luna’s ear, giggling softly at the purr Luna gave off in response. “Thank you, Luna, but really, I am Serenity. A part of me has always known, and the things I knew as Serenity, that I understand because of Serenity’s memories make more sense now that I’ve accepted it. It’s easier to separate the things that are memories from what I’m trying to learn now that the silver crystal isn’t constantly trying to suppress it as I learn new or even contradictory information. I’m sorry if I’ve worried you.”

Luna arched into the comforting and rhythmic stroke of Usagi’s hand across her shoulders and back. “And of your plans for the future? I’ve seen you making lists and those guidebooks you keep hidden from the girls. You let them think you have nothing in your mind but being Mamoru-san’s bride!”

Usagi sighed moving over to sit beside her furred guardian on the bed, “Sometimes it’s easier to be underestimated, there is less pressure. I remember the expectations of being Serenity very well Luna. I remembered that feeling of expectation even before I remembered everything else. I was scolded for simply taking an hour to enjoy the gardens and let my mind rest. While there are principles of what I learned as Serenity that will apply, both now and in the future, there is much of the political that is now just not. My freedom is important to me all of our freedom to live and choose to be who we want to be without the pressures of politics and rule; I want that for all of us so very much for a long as we can have it.”

Luna side-eyed her charge, “You put on an act to help them forget.”

Usagi smiled, “They are also my friends and it is my duty to look after them in whatever way I am able. Though I think Minako suspects my act, she always could see through me.”

“What do you truly want for your future Usagi-chan?”

“To live Luna. To live life to the fullest I can; with my family, with Mamoru-kun, with the girls, and with any other friends I meet. I want to go to high school, and get a degree, maybe go even further in my education. I haven’t quite decided yet to be honest. I want to be able to support Mamoru-kun in his work, but I also want to be ready for my own future.”

Luna snuggled into her princess’s side. “Those sound-like worthy goals.”