Spelling Mistakes

Status:
  • Complete
Content Rating:
  • PG-13
Fandom(s):
Harry Potter

Relationship(s):
None

Warning(s):
  • *No Site Warnings Apply
Genre(s):
  • Crack
Word Count:
1277

Author's Note:
This story was born from my spelling mistakes while sprinting on discord.

Summary:
The Order of the Phoenix has a cunning plan to stop the war before it begins.


Members of the Order of the Phoenix sat around the kitchen table at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. Many of them tense, others fidgety; Ron was either attempting to eat or make out with a ham sandwich, the twins had set up a betting book. Today after much argument Dumbledore, their esteemed leader, had gone out on a one-man mission against the Dark Lord Voldemort. Harry wished him the best of luck; he didn’t want to face the man again.

The nature of the mission had been strongly debated. Some people supporting it for its daring and unexpected nature, mostly the Gryffindors and Sirius in particular. Others were against it, not wanting to risk their leader in such a manner, Mrs Weasley being the main opponent. But then Harry had noticed she seemed she enjoyed arguing with Sirius over everything. In the end, they put the matter to vote and those in favour won by a narrow margin; Albus Dumbledore was tasked ending the war before it began. The plan was simple, elegant Snape had described it. Sirius had sneered at that and said Snape wouldn’t know elegant if it could pluck up the courage to bite his greasy arse.

Voldemort had, a few months ago, regained his body after using Harry in a horrifying and traumatising ritual. While the details of the dark magic, which, had so disturbed Hermione, had gone over his head the sight of a naked Voldemort had yet to leave him. However, the newly arisen, and robed, Dark Lord was in the process of regaining his loyal followers as well as some new members. But to do this he needed his charismatic good looks back, lost due to a mishap in the resurrection ritual because Wormtail used too much snake venom. It was also apparently making him sluggish and he was looking at ways to make himself more energetic. Just what they needed the Energiser Bunny’s reptilian cousin, but hopefully if this plan worked they wouldn’t have to worry about it.

To avoid any more mishaps Voldemort wasn’t taking any chances and brewing his own potions, Snape was called on to advise but not act. A shame, Moody had muttered, no possibility to poison him. But it had sparked an idea, which had lead to the plan.

Dumbledore a transfiguration prodigy was an animagus. This was on no paperwork and until a few weeks ago unknown to even his most loyal followers. The reason he had given was security, but McGonagall had muttered it was pride; after all, the man was unlikely to be proud of his ability to turn into a hamster.

However, the small rodent would be useful in their plan. Dumbledore would sneak into the base of Voldemorts operations, Malfoy Manor, in Snape’s pocket and then disrupt the brewing of the corrective potions resulting in Voldemorts death. The exact details were unknown, the potion ingredients changed daily. But Dumbledore was, as Mrs Weasley had pointed out, an alchemist and surely knew what he was doing.

Harry stood up unable to bear the suspense anymore. Hermione gave him a concerned look and Ron continued his love affair with his ham sandwich.  Sirius gave him a manic grin and continued bouncing around the room. Tonks had been as fidgety, apparently, it was a hereditary trait.  But due to her clumsiness, she was now tied to a chair for everyone’s safety.

‘How much longer is the is going to take?’  Emmeline Vance asked.

‘As long as it takes lass.’ Moody grunted his response, the calmest in the room.

‘Oh I hope he’s okay,’ Mrs Weasley fluttered and made another sandwich to feed to her youngest son. Before they could start another round of the same questions the fire turned green and spat out a wide-eyed Snape.

‘Snape, were’s Albus?’ demanded Moody. With a shaking hand, Snape placed a small fat hamster on the table. It looked back at them.

‘Are you sure that’s the Headmaster?’ asked George.

‘It’s just he’s not what I expected’ continued Fred.

‘Boys show some respect it takes a great deal of skill to master such an art.’

‘Wormtail managed it,’ interrupted Sirius always pleased to goad the Weasley matriarch.

‘As I was saying it takes a great deal of skill and Headmaster Dumbledore.’

‘Hamster Dumbledore,’ the twins simultaneously interrupted her.

‘Has done wandless magic on top of it.’ she continued while ignoring her offspring. ‘Minerva, perhaps you should take him next door so he can transform in peace.’ Snorting McGonagall picked up the hamster Dumbledore.

‘Better do your own paperwork Albus or else,’ Harry thought he heard her whisper over the startled squeaks of the creature on the way out the door. But surely his Head of House wasn’t threatening to eat his Headmaster. Wide-eyed Hermione caught his gaze; maybe she had.

Stalking back into the room in a very feline manner, McGonagall looked rather pleased. Maybe they would have to find a new Headmaster and Defence teacher this year. However, before Harry could speculate further a pale Dumbledore walked back into the room and sank heavily into one of the recently vacated chairs.

‘Well, what happened to don’t keep us in suspense?’ Moody demanded gruffly. With a long look at the assembled group Dumbledore began.

‘Things started off well. Severus did a sterling job in getting me into the Manor undetected. We made it into the inner sanctum of Voldemort’s,’ the room gave a collective shudder, ‘work station and we were in luck, Nagini his snake familiar, was in a tank sleeping off a milking. No danger of me being eaten,’ his eyes darted to McGonagall and he swallowed hard as she smirked.

‘Anyway, I was placed on the counter out of sight while Voldemort,’ another shudder and really this fear was a bit ridiculous to Harry, ‘consulted with Severus. I must say children you are so very lucky to have such a skilled Potion Master teaching you,’ Harry and the rest of the so-called children stared back flatly.

‘Well, as I was saying, I was on the counter among the potion ingredients and I used my wandless magic, exceptionally well I must say, and managed to render many of them inert or alter the properties of them.’ He looked rather pleased as he said this. The impressed looks of the Order members making him more animated.

‘After I had done this Severus returned me to his pocket so I would avoid detection.’ The Order members nodded along, everything had so far followed their plan. Harry had to wonder why if things were going so well both Snape and Dumbledore had looked so disturbed on arrival.

‘We were in the room for quite a few hours, as I’m sure you’re aware waiting for me as you were,’ he smiled benevolently at his audience. The twins rolled their eyes out of their mother’s sight. ‘However, our patience was rewarded and Voldemort,’ they were like a synchronised shuddering team, not hardened fighters, ‘drank the potion.’

‘Did he die?’

‘Is he weakened?’

‘Is it over?’ The questions bombarded the Headmaster from the assembled Order members.

‘It had an effect yes. That is to say, we are no longer facing a Dark Lord.’ Cheers echoed around the room, Mrs Weasley hugged Sirius while Tonks fell over with her chair.

‘Ah, yes it sounds like good news but I’m afraid it’s not quite as we hoped.’ The celebrating stopped, Sirius and Mrs Weasley turned to face each other before promptly letting go.

‘What happened then?’ Kingsley asked. Snape whimpered.

‘Voldemort got busty.’

‘You mean busy? He’s gotten his energy back?’ Professor Lupin enquired.

‘No I mean busty, we now have a Dark Lady.’

- - - -

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6 Comments

  1. Lol oh dear!

  2. LOL.
    That’s too silly.
    Thank you

  3. Uh oh… LOL Nice work. Thanks for sharing!!!

  4. LOL. I like it

  5. LOL … very funny pay off.

Don't be an asshole!

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